Friday, January 7, 2011

Brief Masocore Interlude

I haven't updated lately for two incredibly understandable and relevant reasons. Reason number one is that I'm lazy. And reason number two is that my NES has determined that Metroid is no longer relevant to my interests. I'm not sure what the problem is, it starts up fine but 10 minutes into playing it just up and pixelates and fails. It even mocked me:

So I've moved on until I can figure out what's wrong with it or buy another cartridge. Next up will be River City Ransom. But until then I've been distracted. I've been pulling my hair out and cursing vilely. I've had sleepless nights and have become a social recluse. You may be asking yourself what terrible tragedy has befallen me, what horrific occurrence might have led to these dark days of woe and angst.

Well the answer is simple. A legion of 8-bit spikes and delicious fruits have invaded my life and my dreams and refuse to let me live a normal life. I have embarked on a quest more difficult than Ninja Gaiden, more difficult than Super Meat Boy and yes, dare I say it, more difficult than Battletoads. Because I have determined, in my infinite wisdom that I Wanna Be the Guy.

This game has taken challenging and timing based elements from every 8-bit NES game and crammed it into one incredibly amazing, albeit death inflicting, addictive platformer. It's got the terrible translations from Zelda, the appearing bricks from Mario and the spikes from.. well everything. And oh those spikes. Everywhere.

If you haven't attempted this I'll say to you now: turn back while you still can. This is the most difficult, challenging, brain numbing game I've ever encountered. But now I must finish it. As a point of pride I will defeat Mike Tyson with a single pixel fired by the gun of The Kid. But until then my life is this single screen. Forever.